the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize