the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
