Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
