we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This house was built for laser tag.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The Olympian is in my bed
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