I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
