THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
