More tranny stories later!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
