I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
