rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
