What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
