my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
