Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
