Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
