my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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