drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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