porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
