you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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