Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
