if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The power of my boobs compel you
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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