who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
