if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
