What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
