Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am one with the molecules
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
