True but thats because hes a fetus.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
