I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
