dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Your penis caused this!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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