Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
