I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
