Yo dont text me then not text me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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