i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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