It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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