would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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