Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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