On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
