I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
