he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
