i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
