At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
