he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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