how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
