I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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