dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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