my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
