it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
