You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
