Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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