I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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