If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
