After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
