yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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