do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
