His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
