wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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