You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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